Calm Body, Calm Mind - How to Regulate Your Nervous System

Having a baby to care for can be the ultimate test to your nervous system – you’re running on very little sleep, you haven’t had a full meal, you’re struggling with feeding, feeling touched out, falling behind on keeping your home clean, maybe you're overstimulated all the time. You are giving everything to this little baby, and sometimes it can feel like a big sacrifice.  

What is an activated and dysregulated nervous system?

When our nervous system is on high alert, we are feeling activated. This could look like racing heart, short and quick breaths, feeling adrenaline or cortisol, anxiety, anger/rage, irritability, overwhelm, low frustration tolerance, or panic. In extreme cases, this could feel like a trauma response of fight, flight, freeze/disassociate, or fawn. When we struggle to calm our activated nervous system, we experience dysregulation.

What is a regulated nervous system?

Your nervous system is regulated when your body and mind are calm and at peace. This is when you can sit with a novel and pay attention to the plot, when you’re in a bubble bath, meditating, walking, noticing, completely present with the moment, in the zone, etc.

Is activation bad?

This state of activation is a normal part of being a human. The goal is not to get rid of these states of activation (because that’s not realistic). The goal is to limit frequency, intensity and duration. We do that in the following way:

1. Recognize your signs that you’re getting activated or dysregulated

2. Have skills and strategies to regulate yourself. Early intervention matters!

3. Once regulated, get to the root of the dysregulation - what need was not being met? What was the trigger?

4. Meet your needs more consistently to build your frustration tolerance so do not experience dysregulation as often, intensely, or as long. Know your triggers and have a plan for how to regulate when faced with a trigger.

Ready to dig deeper?

When you are regulated, not only is the day to day more enjoyable, but you are a better parent for your child because you have more patience for their every need. Ready to learn more? Reach out to schedule a therapy consultation. Or sign up for my free guidebook: “Self-Care for the incredibly busy, overextended, and exhausted working parent” to learn more.